bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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