Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
