Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
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