she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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