I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
