I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
