STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
