Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
