So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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