just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
