Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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