Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
