Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
