There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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