That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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