Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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