too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
