But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
