Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Terrible idea I love it
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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