Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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