He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
My pussy is not your playground.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
