I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
