you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
