i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
