I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
