Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
