Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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