question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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