i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
can u get pink eye on your cock?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
