Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
