Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
