you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
