So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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