Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
