in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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