I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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