Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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