chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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