If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
