Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
