I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
