I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just had sex on a roof
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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