This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
