Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
