ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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