Yo dont text me then not text me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
