hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
