it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
