Got a toothbrush?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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