you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
