Non-Jews are for practice
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Randomize