The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
