Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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