It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
